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  • Writer's pictureRebecca Cafiero

Back to my non-negotiables.

You've got those days that EVERYTHING just seems to be working together, you're in flow and unstoppable! And then those days that you just can't get it together and it feels like the world is conspiring to test you in every way.

Yesterday, running behind on something I couldn't control, I felt overwhelmed and frustrated.

This picture is NOT an exaggeration, at all, I'm sad to say! ⬅️ 😂

Definitely not my best self, and as my daughter wanted cuddles, I was stuck in that horrible spot of deciding to do exactly what I wanted to (hug her till she was bored of it) or be even LATER to the appointment I was already late on.

The Be vs. Do struggle is something I talk about often because I live it DAILY. Overwhelm can happen regardless if the calendar is crowded (though overcrowding it without intention definitely increases the chances.

For me, when life is flowing, things are going incredibly, I want to say YES to all of the things!!! Everything is possible and available until it's not.

And then, in those moments where I feel myself failing (and falling), I've got to regroup, reprioritize and remember that everything we say yes to, is a no to something else.

So how do we recalibrate to get back to us, back to what's important, back to the essence of what we are building our life to be about, regardless of how much (or how little) is happening.

Here's what I do, imperfectly, to get back to my non-negotiables.

(these two are my two biggest non-negotiables! 👇👇)

When life gets hectic, positively or negatively, it's all the more time to ground into the foundation. For me, that's movement, breathwork, gratitudes + connection time.

1. Movement:

Done beats perfect, so some days, that's an early morning Peloton ride, other days, it's an afternoon walk to connect with my husband. I find that scheduling it in (and paying for it) ensures I'll show up. So Mondays and Wednesdays, I have a group tennis class and I am RARELY feeling like going when 7:15 pm rolls around. However, I have yet to leave a class not feeling SO glad I honored that time and got my body outside and moving.

2. Breathwork + Journalling.

When we are white-knuckling through our days, or jumping out of bed, right into "busy", we are rarely taking time to fill our body with life-giving oxygen!! Recently, I've been committing to daily hypno-breathwork and the effects are powerful! It makes me feel like I can slow time down, get more intentional and MUCH more clear on my focus. Whenever I feel I don't have the time is when I need it most!

What we focus on we find, what we focus on, grows. It's no surprise that when we're looking for proof of hurt, overwhelm, or chaos, we find more. On the other hand, whenever I focus on things to be grateful for, it's an INSTANT mood changer. And, in just three minutes a day (you can even do it while showering!), gratitudes will lower your anxiety, improve your sleep, make you happier, healthier and more confident!

4. Connection + Quality Time.

Regardless of how the day goes, we usually have control of how it ends. For me, that's snuggled up next to my 5-year-old reading (I'm a sucker for reading WAY too many stories). When he's getting drowsy and I put the books away, he'll ask me "mama, can you tell me a story about when you were a little girl". And as I weave a tale from my days growing up on the farm, he snuggles in close and all is right in the world.

What are your non-negotiables to have a wonderful day, regardless of what's happening? And what are you grateful for?!


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